omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
I just made bacon chili cheese fries for dinner...someday my kids are going to realize I'm a stoner & this will all make sense
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
I asked you if you wanted to go to the ER, have me sew it up or just wrap it in duct tape and keep on keepin on. You just said YES. I remember very little after that.
You're a good friend.
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
Randomize