It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
please take me off your list of people to text when you don't want to drink by yourself.
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
He left his phone. Turns out he;s been sexting with some girls who can't spell. Time to break out the herpes scare.
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
Why is our fridge full of girl scout cookies and rum?
You told me to go grocery shopping.
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
Randomize
