every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
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