fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
I think the neighbors upstairs are trying for more kids. I want to run up there and yell "mazal tov!"
rethinking that breast reduction surgery... i'm tired of drunkenly explaining the scars to guys who don't really give a shit
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
Randomize