Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
Nothing says Merry Christmas like gifting a bottle of rum and finishing it yourself then leaning over at the dinner table to puke it back up.
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
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