He is such a slut. More and more my type.
I locked my keys in my car in front of planned parenthood. I'm terrified of going inside to ask to borrow a clothes hangar.
Just tell them you need to fix a mistake real quick.
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
I know you would never do it--but if I ever walk into your house and find a "live love laugh" ANYTHING, I will commit you to an asylum. If it is a vinyl decal adhered to the wall, I will just smother you myself.
Randomize
