Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
Randomize