i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
Fell in the ditch running from the pizza guy I stole the pizza from. If you are still at my house come find me, pretty sure I need stitches.
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
All the doctor said was why
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
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