I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
Also, just had a student offer to sell me Xanax. Want some? Just for like a rainy day. Or our memorial day shitshow. Or just another Wednesday night.
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
Randomize
