Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
Randomize
