you turned your livingroom into a bong?
i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
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