One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
the cop asked if i was drunk and i responded with "breathalize me, cap'n". incidentally, he was a captain and i blew a .13.
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
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