Having a random hookup so left but love u
i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
He threw a goldfish cracker into my toilet and then proceeded to laugh for 32 minutes. I timed it.
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
Why is our fridge full of girl scout cookies and rum?
You told me to go grocery shopping.
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
Randomize
