ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
I threw up under water while wearing a hockey helmet last night. Awesome.
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
i just opened a bottle of wine with my dads power tools
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
I need a hug and tequila
I'm sitting next to a milk crate full of tequila right now
This is why we need to live in the same city again
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
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