just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
just realized I'm too high to take the plastic off a slice of cheese....
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
Randomize
