He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
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