I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
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