How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
Jelly. This is your "are you still alive" text. Any response will do.
Hey I found a cat!
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
Okay who let me pass out in a recliner cuddling a pitbull and a cardboard cutout of Orlando Bloom
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
Randomize
