You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
I thought it was my alarm clock, turns out it was her vibrator still going off on the side of my face.
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
Randomize
