having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
You were convinced you would hurt my car if you opened the door. Then you barfed in the pretzle bucket Peter gave you
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
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