Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
Randomize
