whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
I left the office with a vacuum, 2 condoms and 300 dollars cash money. Tell me I don't have the most versatile job on the planet.
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
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