She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
I passed out with the lights and tv on woke up at 4am SO confused and covered in goldfish so I ate them and went back to bed.. fuck xanax
Randomize
