Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
Randomize
