My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
I'm currently witnessing my drunk neighbor attempting to fold laundry on his front lawn. I think he's trying to spell out HELP.
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
Randomize
