dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
Hit a parked car with a "property of Jesus Christ" bumper sticker. Wrote out five hail mary's and left it on the windshield.
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
Randomize
