I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever.
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
Randomize
