Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
A giant panda just asked me for a cigarette and said "man pandas gotta smoke too." There is something wrong with this place.
THERE IS AN ENORMOUS FAT WOMAN EYEING MY FLIGHT'S GATE LIKE IT WOULD BE DELICIOUS TO EAT.
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
Hey do you care to explain why there are 3 empty pickle jars next to me when I woke up or do I even wanna know?
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
Randomize
