Rocking a Headband at the strip club, because of Rock of Love this shit is like their kryptonite, I smell like stripper butter and back child support.
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
We got so high we made milksteak
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
COCAINE IS GR8
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
Randomize
