i'm at a stripclub and this bitch just lit her nipples on fire!
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
Randomize
