I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
Thanks for ditching me last night. I got a ride home from the Dominos delivery guy. You owe me 3 large pizzas.
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
I feel like he knows I had a dream about him eating me out in the janitors closet at the holiday party. He's giving me THAT look.
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
He used the ring emoji and we've gone out four times. What is my life.
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
My liver is preforming stress tests.
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
Randomize
