Someone shit on the floor
my drunk step mom just informed me my dad likes reverse cowgirl. Please god kill me.
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Randomize
