im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
in my drunkeness I still was able to plan for the morning. I duck taped my keys, a water bottle full of mimosa and my cell phone to the front door.
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
I found a bag of weed while packing. Now packing is like creating tiny universes inside of boxes.
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
Randomize
