We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
You disinfected one of his friends, buttered the jeans of the other one. And you poured every liquid you could reach on the floor, including cooking oil and green tea. It wasnt a great first impression
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
Weird thing is that's not the first time I've been felt up by a Santa. Happens every year
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
After we won that round of beer pong you attempted to swallow the winning ball whole claiming you had the mouth and jaw of a snake.
A snake? I must've been gone...
After that you got naked and hissed at people the rest of the night..
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
Randomize
