I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
Is your liver wearing a sombrero yet?
No...more like a life jacket.
This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
IM A DRUNK BIRTHDAY CLEOPATRA MESS. CELEBRATE THAT BITCH
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
No dude I got way too drunk to function. 90% sure I tried to FaceTime 911.
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
Randomize
