dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
This was my thought process as I drunkenly ran home: Whoa! I'm going so FAST! Why don't I run EVERYWHERE! ALL THE TIME! Then I peed in a bush and passed out on the ground.
So basically you were a dog.
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
I just used the proceeds from selling my ex's engagement ring to fund my first date with another girl.
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
Based on my calculations, I should be blackout by approximately 11:14pm and that's when I need you to take my phone away from me. Mkay?
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
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