Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
If you don't answer the phone then I will be forced to leave you a wonderful voicemail of me throwing up
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
Randomize