when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
I seriously need to stop naming my lingerie sets after the boys I wear them for. I seriously just asked mom if she put Brett in the dryer
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
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