Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
Randomize
