I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
on todays agenda: meeting with a life coach then going to the dollar store to buy batteries for my vibrator. clearly im still unemployed.
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
Just reduced mom to tears when she realized I wasn't kidding about hating kids. She's crying about never being a gma. Now would be the time to tell her about the girl you knocked up. You're welcome.
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
I am never drinking with the goths again.
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
Randomize
