Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
NEW RULE: can't hook up with more than 50% of the groomsmen in wedding party or it becomes wrong kind of weird. NUMBERS GAME.
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
my penis made a compromise with my morals
Randomize
