I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland."
I'm at a bar where I literally walked in to the bathroom and some chick told me to never go to San Joaquin state pen
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
Randomize
