Swine flu. Run for my life!
God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
Randomize
