i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
Randomize
