You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
You know, be my cock's hype man.
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
Randomize
