I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
Are we still banned from the library?
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake đź‘Ś
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
He picked me up in Smart Car with the license plate “MYWHIP.” I think my ovaries shriveled up and died.
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
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