Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
Randomize
