I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
Saw someone get laid in the bathroom no one was wearing shoes and I had a parrot on my shoulder...I never want to leave this bar
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
Why did I wake up with a half-eaten burrito and a vaccuum cleaner in my bed? ...on top of me.
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