please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
if i see another status about New Moon, i'm gonna punch a baby
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
Let's get the cat blown out
Randomize
