She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
My pants are like a grocery bag containing ONLY jelly beans right now.
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
Yeah man... I ordered donuts, drank wine, and cried to a movie with Seth Rogen in it. Do you really think I have my shit together?
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
Hey this is your roommate. You know the one that let you have sex with her while you called out your exs name and cried?
I have no recollection of that. You must have the wrong number. P.s. your thongs still on the ceiling fan.
Randomize
