so after all day drinking, we went to an all u can eat crab place and i was going from table to table surveying the crowd if they though the crab i was carrying around looked like the flying dog from never ending story...what the hell is wrong with me?
i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
Just tried to use the bottle of Sprite in my car as mouthwash to get the taste of puke out of my mouth- it's half vodka. Puked again. Thanks man.
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
Randomize