butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
Timehop reminded me that 4 years ago today I helped a one armed man do the YMCA by being his other arm.
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
Randomize
