i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
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