Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
There's a homeless man outside the bar. I have a toothbrush and toothpaste in my car. I think i'm going to give them to him. And they said drinking is bad.
You're so thoughtful.
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
Dude, she set my Tinder preference to men, set the radius to 100 miles, and used up all of my right swipes. I think she's mad.
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
Randomize
