I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
Made a vodka juice box out of a ziploc bag and a straw for when I drive. Doesn't count as an open beverage container anymore.
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
how do you play pong handcuffed?
I was chasing pulls of fireball with bites of a bagel and yelling at people to take tequila shots with me. I shouldn't be allowed to go out alone.
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
Randomize
