fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
I just had unprotected sex with a stranger. but i did him wearing nothing but my pearls. so its classy.
Need toilet paper. Napkins suck. Slowly running out of those two and the bleeding hasn't stopped. Your cat is next
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
Oh! I forgot to tell you. Part of that weird ass dream last night. I was jamie lee curtis and I cut off all my hair because yogurt.
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