Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
It happened again.
What?
I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now.
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
Randomize
