he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
I just found out how hard it is to put together a fake Christmas tree with a hangover.
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
he convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. he slurred every word. i think i found my prince charming.
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
Randomize
