Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
Randomize
