just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
Seriously why is the deadbolt locked. This is the second time I'm having to sleep on the porch using my boots as my pillow. I can't wait till the next time your drunk.
Shhh, I'm sleeping. Just let it happen Jess.
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
Randomize
