there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
Whoever had sex in my bed during the party last night left a glow in the dark condom on my floor. I'm not even mad anymore, I just want to know who it is so they can tell me where to get one.
Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
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