Duck Duck Cougar?
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
Nothing says I've got my life together like vomiting on the groom and passing out at your youngests sisters wedding
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
Randomize
