I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
Randomize