so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
You wore a man's plastic top hat last night.
No I didn't. Whiskey did.
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
It feels appropriate that the wallet of my high school and college years would die at the hands of a spilled bong. Which in and of itself is a solid metaphor for those years.
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
Randomize
